A "funny thing" happened one day while I was doing a home inspection
Presented by Paul Polarek, licensed home inspector at Can Port Home Inspections, Inc.
Last month, my Home Inspection Association had a little contest among its membership to see who could write the funniest Home Inspector experience story of last year. I thought that I would enter the experience that I had a couple of years ago.
On this particularly sunny day, I happened to be at a large two-story selling for over $300,000 in a very nice subdivision. As I approached the front of the house, I noticed how ornate some of the trim and windows were and I was not disappointed when I got inside! The woodwork was fantastic! It was going to be a great day for an Inspection! So, one our Realtors met me there and we camped out at the kitchen table. You know most Home Inspectors follow a routine when doing an Inspection. In my case I start with the kitchen sink and move on from there. The kitchen cabinets were gorgeous! This house had a microwave above the stove as a lot of homes do. Testing the operation of the microwave especially for fan operation is a must. Part of my routine is to open the cabinet above the microwave to check for a vent pipe which could tell me if the fan was externally discharged or recirculated. That always tells me to try to locate the discharge stack in the attic and what it hooks up to. Well, I reached up to open that cabinet and…..OMG…as I opened the door, we both looked up and I couldn’t believe my eyes! The flexible corrugated discharge hose had come away from the vent in the wall and a bird had made a nest in the cabinet. I couldn’t believe it! Well that sounds innocent enough, BUT the entire inside of the cabinet was splattered with…Oh no…you guessed it _ _ _ t. No, I’m not going say it, but was it a mess (the house sold anyway). Just the thought of prepping food in that location sort of turns my stomach. I often wondered if the people that lived there thought of the bird as a pet!
One other time I was in a basement that had an attached crawlspace. As is common with many basements built in the 50’s and 60’s, the basement windows were right up at the top of the foundation wall and not very big. When I pointed my flashlight across the floor of the crawlspace from one of the windows I saw a sump pump pit. Part of my job is to test sump pumps. So I got a ladder and climbed through the window towards the pit. It was pretty tight so I had to crawl on my belly in the crawlspace on my way to the pit. As I got close to the sump pit and started to peer over the side……OMG…..I was face to face with the largest opossum I’d ever seen!! I never crawled backwards faster in my life! Those animals have big teeth!! Lucky for me he didn’t follow me and I don’t know where he went. I did report the incident to the owners to have it removed.
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